<html> <head> <title>The Kevin Fischer Family &amp; Friends Website - Funny Things</title> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content= "text/html; charset=unicode"> <meta http-equiv="Content-Language" content="en-us"> <meta name="GENERATOR" content="MSHTML 6.00.2800.1400"> <meta name="ProgId" content="FrontPage.Editor.Document"> <link href="Templates/style-sheet.css" type="text/css" rel="stylesheet"> <script type="text/javascript" language="JavaScript"></script> <script language="JavaScript"> function openCamWin(url) { win2=window.open("http://www.gatewayguide.com/camera.asp") win2.blur() window.focus() popup = window.open(url, "camwin", "noresize,width=330,height=343"); } </script> <script language="JavaScript"> <!-- var browserName=navigator.appName; var browserVer=parseInt(navigator.appVersion); if ((browserName=="Netscape" && browserVer>=5) || (browserName=="Microsoft Internet Explorer" && browserVer>=4)) version="n3"; else version="n2"; if (version=="n2") alert("This template is designed to today's web standards.\n If you are using Netscape 4, you are not seeing this site as it is intended because older browsers cannot all cascading style sheet data.\n Netscape 4 is now more than 4 years old and was developed when CSS was in the planning stages, and it shows!\n That means that NN 4 does not correctly interpret or render many simple CSS styles.\n \n Please Upgrade your browser to the newest versions:\n \n \t Netscape version 7 or Internet Explorer version 6\n \n A link has been provided on the home page of this site.\n \n \t Thanks...Your Name Here"); //--> </script> <style type="text/css"> <!-- .style1 {font-size: 9px} body { background-image: url(); background-color: #FFFFFF; } .style9 {color: #FFFF00} .style10 { font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; } .style11 {color: #000000} --> </style> </head> <body> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style= "BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse" width="100%"> <tr> <td width="100%" valign="top"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style= "BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse" bordercolor="#111111" width="1005"> <tr> <td width= "201" class="topnav" height="25"><a href="javascript:openCamWin('http://168.166.124.7/pic2.shtml')"> <img border="0" src="http://168.166.124.7/cgi-bin/bmp2jpg.exe?bmpfile=..\bmp\70w-oMORiver.bmp" WIDTH="194" HEIGHT="115" alt="I-70 West of Missouri River" ></a> </td> <td width= "619" class="topnav" height="25"><embed width="595" height="75" src="Swish/dbd%20cool%20tabs%20blue.swf"></td> <td width= "185" class="topnav" height="25"><a href= "http://www.wunderground.com/US/MO/Saint_Charles.html" target= "_blank"> <img src= "http://banners.wunderground.com/banner/bigtemptr_both/language/www/US/MO/Saint_Charles.gif" alt="Click for Saint Charles, Missouri Forecast" border="0" height="94" width="185"></a></td> </tr> <tr> <td class="bannercell" colspan="3" height="27"><p align="center" class="style9"> <span lang="en-ca"> <font size="5"><span class="style11"></span> </font></span></p></td> </tr> <tr> <td height="51" colspan="3" class="bannercell"><p align="center"><span class="style11"><font size="6">Funny and Interesting Things </font></span></p></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="201" class="content1" valign="top"><table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style= "BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse" bordercolor="#111111" width="150"> <tr> <td width="100%" class="additonalpadding"><!--webbot bot="Include" U-Include="includes/navigation.htm" TAG="BODY" startspan --> <h6 align="center">Site Navigation:</h6> <p align="center"><b><a class="nav" href="index.html">Home</a><br> <a class="nav" href="about_us.htm">About Us</a><br> <a class="nav" href="photos.htm">Photos</a> <br> <a class="nav" href="videos.htm">Videos</a><br> <a class="nav" href="http://www.kevinfischer.com/cgi-bin/calendar.pl">Family Calendar</a><br> <a class="nav" href="kevinfischerresume.htm">My Resume</a><br> <a class="nav" href="myblog.htm">My Blog</a><br> <a class="nav" target="_blank" href="/leiah/index.html">Leiah&#39;s Area</a><br> </b><b> </b><b> <a class="nav" href="links.htm">Favorite Links</a><br> <a class="nav" href="funnystuff.htm">Funny Things</a><br> <a href="http://pub5.bravenet.com/guestbook/346799153/" target="_blank">Guestbook</a> </b></p> </b> </p> </p> </p> </p> </p> </td> </tr> <tr> <td width="100%" class="additonalpadding"><table class="htopic" border="0" cellspacing="1" width="100%" cellpadding="2"> <tr> <td width="75%"><script type="text/javascript" src="calendar.js"> </script></td> </tr> <tr> <td><div align="center"><a href="http://www.kevinfischer.com/cgi-bin/calendar.pl">Click here for full calendar of events</a></div></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="100%" class="additonalpadding"><h6 align="center"> </h6></td> </tr> <tr> <td width="100%" class="additonalpadding"><!-- Start Bravenet.com Service Code --> <script language="JavaScript" type="text/javascript" src="http://pub5.bravenet.com/counter/code.php?id=386658&usernum=346799153&cpv=2"></script> <!-- End Bravenet.com Service Code --> </td> </tr> </table></td> <td width="619" class="content2" valign="top"><div align="center"> <p align="left"> <strong>If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" <br> might have turned out something like this....</strong></p> <div align="left"> <p>&nbsp;</p> <p align="center"> <strong> <strong>COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT <br> <br> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? <br> <br> COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking <br> about buying a computer. <br> <br> ABBOTT: Mac? <br> <br> COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. <br> <br> ABBOTT: Your computer? <br> <br> COSTELLO: I don't own a co! mputer. I want to buy one. <br> <br> ABBOTT: Mac? <br> <br> COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. <br> <br> ABBOTT: What about Windows? <br> <br> COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? <br> <br> COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Wallpaper. <br> <br> COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. <br> <br> ABBOTT: Software for Windows? <br> <br> COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write <br> proposals and track expenses. What do you have? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Office. <br> <br> COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? <br> <br> ABBOTT: I just did. <br> <br> COSTELLO: You just did what? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Recommend something. <br> <br> COSTELLO: You recommended something? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Yes. <br> <br> COSTELLO: For my office? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Yes. ! <br> <br> COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?<br> </strong></strong></p> <p align="center"><strong><strong>ABBOTT: Office. <br> <br> COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! <br> <br> ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. <br> <br> COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say <br> I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I <br> need? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Word. <br> <br> COSTELLO: What word? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Word in Office. <br> <br> COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. <br> <br> ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. <br> <br> COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? <br> <br> ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". <br> <br> COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with <br> some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have <br> anything I can track my money with? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Money. <br> <br> COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Money. <br> <br> COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? <br> <br> ABBOTT: ! It comes bundled with your computer. <br> <br> COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Money. <br> <br> COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. <br> <br> COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? <br> <br> ABBOTT: One copy. <br> <br> COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. <br> <br> COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! <br> <br> (A few days later) <br> <br> ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? <br> <br> COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? <br> <br> ABBOTT: Click on "START"............ </strong> <br> <br> </strong> </p> </div> </div></td> <td width="185" class="content1" valign="top">&nbsp; <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style= "BORDER-COLLAPSE: collapse" bordercolor="#111111" width="150"> <tr> <td width="100%" class="additonalpadding">&nbsp;</td> </tr> <tr> <td width="100%" class="additonalpadding"><table border="0" cellspacing="1" width="100%" cellpadding="2" class="htopic"> <tr> <td width="100%"><h4>&nbsp;</h4></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> </table></td> </tr> </table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"> <tr> <td width="100%" class="copycell"><p align="center"><span class="style1">Kevin D. Fischer - <a onmouseover= "window.status=&#39;Tech2You Computer Services website&#39;; return true" title="Tech2You Computer Services website" onmouseout= "window.status=&#39; &#39;" href= "http://www.tech2youcomputers.com" target="_blank" http:="" www.tech2youcomputers.com="">Tech2You Computer Services</a>&nbsp;&copy; 2005 | All Rights Reserved</span> </p></td> </tr> </table> </body> </html>